He Changed My Mind

When I was in college, every senior, regardless of their academic focus, had to take a course called “Senior Colloquium”.  The word colloquium is from the Latin, colloquī, “to talk together.”  I figured we all had to take it so the university could make sure they weren’t graduating any axe murderers, but it turned out to be one of the most useful and life-changing classes I took.  In that class, we discussed a number of issues – everything from the U.S. sale of arms to foreign countries to making an ethical decision about using the copier for personal use at your workplace.  We would be given topics to research and then we would have to argue BOTH sides of the issue.  At the end of the semester, we were to make a substantial presentation to the class in which we would state our personal position on a topic and then defend why we held the opinion we did. 

I was already a “senior” senior – well into my 30s when I went back to school – and I thought I had most issues all figured out.  I’m sure all of you who are older than that are shaking your heads at my naiveté but I was surrounded by young people barely into their 20s, so by comparison, I thought myself “seasoned” and that the research I had to do would just confirm what I already believed. 

I was wrong. 

While researching my final presentation, I came up against a real crisis of belief.  I saw how I had been saying one thing with my mouth, but in one area of the issue, I wasn’t holding true to my words.  It was the first of many a humbling in my life.  I remember the feelings I had when I realized that I had been operating in hypocrisy.  Me?  The “elder” of the group?  The “seasoned” and mature one?  The “enlightened” one?  I couldn’t believe I had gotten this so wrong (yes, I know – the height of arrogance and yet, there it was).

When confronted with the truth of my hypocrisy, I had a couple of options.  I’ll be honest, I considered both.  The first was to just omit the one section of my presentation, and if anyone brought up that particular aspect of my issue, I’d insert my fingers into both ears, and begin singing loudly in order to drown out the person calling me onto the carpet about it.  Then I could blissfully ignore what I’d learned and continue to think the way I always had.  The second option was to allow what I’d learned to shape my beliefs.  This required admitting that I’d been a hypocrite and embracing what I now deep-down believed to be the right thing.  It required humility and letting go of a solidly (and often avidly and loudly) expressed belief.

Thankfully, I went with the second option.  And that decision didn’t just formally change my belief on that issue, but it changed my life going forward.  I learned that no matter how earnestly I believed something and no matter how genuine my defense of my position, I COULD BE WRONG (collective gasps)…

I look back on that moment as a personal testing ground.  I believe that God engineered that situation to teach me humility, and also to see if He could use me for anything substantial.  If I refused to allow my heart and mind to be changed in the face of such tangible evidence, how would I ever allow Him to change my heart and mind regarding the things I needed to know to be used for His purpose – things which aren’t always so tangible? 

I am so grateful for that lesson back in college.  Since then it has been much easier to surrender my “firmly-held” beliefs to God and to give Him the right to change my heart and mind if He needs to.  I’ve mentioned in a previous post how God has been shaking my beliefs about some things.  Oh, it is still challenging to let Him “mess me up”, but I’m amazed at how gracious He is in confirming that it’s Him that’s doing the “messing” and that I’m on the right path.  He’s even given me some others lately who have been changed in the same way.  That’s a real gift because the hardest part of having your beliefs changed is when you think you’re the only one it’s happening to.

Romans 12:2 says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”  (NLT)

Allow God to change the way you think.  Hand over all of those “sacred cows” you’re clutching.  He may let you keep some of them, but you’ll never know until you offer them all up.  Discover His will for your life.  Believe me; you do NOT have a better plan.  Then give Him the freedom to work in someone else’s life the way He wants to (not necessarily the way YOU want Him to).  Surrendered living isn’t always easy, but it is most certainly NEVER dull and it is totally worth it.